“If your writing tip takes 45 minutes to explain, congratulations.
You’ve invented homework.”
A woman rang a cowbell three inches from GhostSlacker’s ear.
“TIME’S UP! NEXT DATE!”
GhostSlacker nearly swallowed his breath mint.
“Lady, I’m trying to develop a deep emotional bond with my mozzarella sticks.”
He was trapped at the world’s first Speed Dating for Writers event.
The rules were simple.
Sixty seconds to impress someone with your writing.
Fail, and a woman named Brenda blasted you with a cowbell.
So far, GhostSlacker had survived nine dates.
Eight were boring.
One tried to sell him life insurance.
Across the table, a nervous writer named Kevin opened his laptop.
“I’ve spent three weeks trying to write a better opening!”
GhostSlacker stared at him.
“Three weeks? Did you write it with a potato?”
Kevin showed him the draft.
Three long paragraphs.
No clear point.
Just enough fluff to stuff a couch.
Brenda raised her cowbell.
“Thirty seconds!”
GhostSlacker grabbed his phone and opened The One-Minute Tip.
He entered Kevin’s problem.
The tool fired back:
“Try this 60-second hook fix: Delete your first two sentences. If your third sentence gets to the point faster, start there.”
Kevin tried it.
His opening suddenly made sense.
He gasped.
“That took ten seconds!”
GhostSlacker shrugged.
“Yep. Sometimes the fastest fix is deleting the stuff nobody needed.”
Brenda checked the clock.
Five seconds left.
Kevin leaned forward.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Will you be my writing coach?”
GhostSlacker froze.
Then Brenda rang her cowbell.
“CONGRATULATIONS! IT’S A MATCH!”
A photographer jumped out of a closet.
Confetti exploded.
Someone rolled in a wedding cake.
GhostSlacker stared at Kevin.
“Buddy, I agreed to fix your hook. Not share a mortgage.”
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