âNobody cares about your fancy product until you show them which pain in their backside it fixes.â
A baby threw a loaded diaper at GhostSlackerâs head.
He ducked.
It hit a salesman in a $3,000 suit.
âWow. Tough crowd. Accurate throw.â
GhostSlacker was trapped at the Worldâs Biggest Baby Product Expo.
Heâd been hired to write ads for a new diaper-changing machine.
The problem?
Nobody wanted to buy it.
The salesman grabbed his microphone.
âIntroducing the incredible DiaperMaster 5000! Featuring twelve buttons, six motors, and a premium chrome finish!â
A tired mother holding twins stared at him.
âWill it change my babyâs diaper?â
âLet me explain our advanced technology!â
One baby started screaming.
The other threw up on her shoulder.
GhostSlacker sighed.
âBuddy, sheâs drowning in baby poop, and youâre giving her a tour of your buttons.â
His Hook Miners newsletter had the same problem.
Heâd been bragging about his new prompt tool instead of showing writers why they needed it.
He opened The Product-as-Solution Frame.
The tool fired back:
âTired of Staring at a Blank Page When You Need a Fresh Hook? This Prompt Tool Finds Strong Opening Angles in Content Youâve Already Written, So You Can Stop Guessing and Start Writing.â
GhostSlacker grinned.
âProblem first. Solution second. Product third. Nobody buys a drill because they love holes in plastic.â
The mother leaned forward.
âSo the machine actually changes diapers?â
âYep.â
She bought one.
Then the salesman pressed the demonstration button.
The machine hummed.
A giant metal arm reached forward.
Grabbed GhostSlacker by his underwear.
And lifted him six feet into the air.
GhostSlacker looked down.
âWonderful. The machine thinks Iâm a baby.â
Then it reached for the diaper cream.
âOh, this is going to be a very expensive lawsuit.â
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