“Ignoring warning signs doesn’t make problems disappear. It just gives them time to eat your lunch.”
GhostSlacker was 900 feet underwater when a red warning light started flashing.
Then another.
Then seventeen more.
“Great. I’m trapped inside a metal hot dog with a Christmas tree.”
He had agreed to write ads for a deep-sea tour company.
The pay?
$500 and a private bunk.
Perfect.
Until the captain started ignoring every warning light on the control panel.
“Relax!” the captain shouted. “Those lights are just suggestions!”
GhostSlacker stared at the water dripping through the ceiling.
“Cool. So is drowning.”
A loud alarm screamed.
The captain handed him a clipboard.
“Quick! Read our new tour ad!”
GhostSlacker glanced at the opening.
“We are pleased to introduce our exciting underwater adventure experience.”
He gagged.
“Captain, this ad has more red flags than your submarine.”
The captain looked confused.
GhostSlacker grabbed his laptop and opened The Red Flag Radar.
He fed it the weak opening and asked it to spot the warning signs.
The tool fired back:
“3 Warning Signs Your Opening Hook Is Losing Readers: It Starts Too Slowly, Says Nothing New, and Gives People No Reason to Keep Reading.”
GhostSlacker smiled.
“See? Spot the danger before your readers disappear.”
The captain nodded.
Then the submarine shook.
A giant tentacle slapped against the window.
Another wrapped around the control room.
The captain screamed.
“We’re being attacked by a giant squid!”
GhostSlacker slowly closed his laptop.
“Wonderful. Even the seafood hates your marketing.”
Then the squid pressed one enormous eyeball against the glass.
And started reading his newsletter.
GhostSlacker leaned forward.
“Hey, Captain?”
“WHAT?”
“Pretty sure we just found our first subscriber.”
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