âHaving 700 tools doesnât make you smarter. It just gives you 700 more ways to waste your afternoon.â
A cannonball blew GhostSlackerâs hammock off a pirate ship.
His fish taco landed in the ocean.
âGreat. Even the sharks get a better lunch.â
Heâd joined Captain Stinkbeardâs treasure hunt for the free boat ride.
Bad decision.
The captain owned 700 treasure maps.
Unfortunately, none of them showed where the treasure was.
One led to a sandwich shop.
Another showed a parking garage.
The third was a map of Disneyland.
GhostSlacker scratched his belly.
âBuddy, youâve collected enough garbage to open a gift shop.â
Stinkbeard slammed his wooden leg against the deck.
âWe need better resources!â
âCool. Maybe start with ones that actually help.â
Suddenly, the captain pointed his sword at GhostSlacker.
âFind the treasure by sunset, or youâre swimming home!â
GhostSlacker sighed.
His Hook Miners newsletter had the same problem.
Writers had thousands of tools but no clue which ones were worth using.
He opened The Resource Roundup.
He fed it the resources writers already had.
The tool fired back:
â4 Free Resources Iâd Keep for Writing Better Hooks: Your Old Posts, Reader Comments, a Hook Checklist, and a Folder of Openings That Worked.â
GhostSlacker grinned.
âSee? Pick the useful stuff. Tell people why it matters. Save them from digging through a mountain of junk.â
The captain studied his maps.
Then tossed 696 overboard.
Four remained.
One showed a tiny island.
The crew cheered.
Treasure!
An hour later, they dug up a wooden chest.
Stinkbeard smashed the lock.
Inside sat a single piece of paper.
âCongratulations! Youâve found our free treasure hunting checklist.â
GhostSlacker stared at it.
Then at the captain.
âFantastic. Weâve sailed 400 miles to become somebodyâs email lead.â
Suddenly, the chest started ringing.
A voice whispered, âWould you like the premium map?â
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